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20 Things Gay Guys Want To Tell Their Heterosexual Women Friends

Of your actual college course, or future career plans, or family, you say nothing. You are obsessed with this man, and that's the problem. You're also living in his ear. And he's allowing you, which is another sign of his general messiness. The point I'm trying to make is that your sexual orientation is not the actual, up-front problem. It's connected, but it's not the problem - for men can be obsessed with women, and women can be obsessed with men. Or terribly dependent, to the point where they have no life of their own, no separateness, no clear identity, even.

Such dependence, in other words, is not a gay prerogative. But it is a serious issue.

Look where it's led you. You want your friend to drink himself senseless so you can be physically close to him.


I am a guy, and I get sexually attracted to other men. Am I gay? - Times of India

That's not a question of being gay, but one of having lost sight of basic human dignity and fair play. That's obsession. It seems you've been a lonely young man for most of your life. That social and emotional isolation is a hard cross to bear. Its origins clearly lie in some of your early life experiences. You need to explore those, face your personal demons, and conquer them.

To do that, you need the help of a therapist. And be careful how you choose one. I can understand that sexual orientation is up front in your mind. But I'd like to repeat that it's not the main issue. As I said already, there are plenty of gay men and women who are not slavishly obsessed, and some heterosexual men and women who are. Meanwhile, step back from the brink in terms of your behaviour towards your friend.

Stop drinking to the point of mindlessness. You can't stop him doing it, but you can stay away from him if he continues. So stay away. Make sure you are never in a position to be in bed with him again. Go home after an evening out. Just avoid temptation. You risk serious social isolation, and you know it.

I am gay, I like men [Earrape]

You're playing with dynamite, and you know it. In fact, you've moved from just being obsessed to being a predator, and you know that too. This is seriously risky behaviour, as well as immoral. Stop it. And get help for your sadness, vulnerability and isolation. Yes, isolation.

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